Embrace Curiosity
By Malory Desrivieres, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern, MS
“Darkness is only the absence of light. Turn on a light and it banishes the darkness.”
– Terry Pratchett, “I Shall Wear Midnight”
Everything seems subject to evaluation these days, where judgment is the first line of defense. Legally, judgments determine guilt or innocence, shaping our path to wholeness in the eyes of the law. Moral and ethical judgments help us navigate right from wrong based on fundamental principles, while everyday decisions are guided by our judgment—what to eat, wear, and do. However, the narrative takes a different turn when judgment is directed inward.
For this reason, I want to make a case for curiosity.
Many of us have grown accustomed to scrutinizing our reflection in the mirror or making off-hand self-deprecating jokes. We anticipate the spotlight being pointed at our perceived flaws and assume the roles of judge, jury, and prosecutor in a court of internal scrutiny. And what comes of that self-judgment? Do you feel safer, more prepared, or even more powerful? It's an uneasy place to be, acknowledging the harm of self-criticism but we don’t have to stop there.
More often than not, curiosity leads to personal growth. Curosity is a teacher and revealer that does not take it’s self seriously and leave room to grow. While curiosity isn't a perfect antidote to self-judgment, it's undeniably a better one. What happens when we choose curiosity over self-judgment? What if we engage vulnerably with ourselves, challenging our thoughts and feelings?
Many of us were conditioned not to question authority figures, and similarly, we may hesitate to challenge our own thoughts. However, curiosity invites us to explore the "why" behind our actions, thoughts, and emotions. Judgments are statements devoid of room for explanation, behaving as if they were facts. On the other hand, curiosity is an invitation to explore, to ask questions like "Who am I?" or "What do I want?"
Curiosity clears a path of self-compassion and empathy where judgment may have place roadblocks. It fosters mindful responses, aligning us with our true needs and building resilience. You may still experience doubt but it can fortify our ability to withstand uncertainty without succumbing to it. Those who embrace curiosity are open to learning and, consequently, more likely to grow. Contrary to the saying, curiosity didn't kill the cat; it reminded them of the options they have and the willingness to explore possibilities.
To embark on the journey of curiosity, consider these practical steps:
Practice Mindfulness:
Start with a minute of mindfulness daily, gradually increasing to 20-30 minutes.
Being present with your mind and body enhances self-attunement.
Ask Yourself Questions:
Begin with simple questions about your preferences or immediate sensations.
Cultivate the habit of being curious about yourself.
In the end, curiosity is the beacon that illuminates the path to self-discovery. By choosing curiosity over judgment, we open doors to better insight and a profound understanding of ourselves. As the light within grows brighter, so does our capacity for personal growth and fulfillment.
Are you on the path to curiosity? Let me know in the comments.
